 "Metamorphosis is Naturally Destructive"
That's a Danielle LaPorte truthbomb that kept jumping out of the deck I bought after seeing her speak in Sydney many years ago. It's all so timely, as right now I'm breaking free of some old belief systems myself. I'm loving the word destructive, it's like it's taken on a whole new meaning for me in a positive way. Destructive can be messy, ugly, life altering and so complicated, exhausting even, but at the same time it's liberating, restorative, and it brings clarity and freedom. I guess it really comes down to perspective. When I look at this word now I see the beauty in the difficult emotional work we have to do to get to the other side. Reminds me of one of my old favourite sayings... "even when it's bad, it's good." When I read Danielle's truthbomb my first thought was the transition of the caterpillar into the butterfly, the breaking free of the cocoon, an act of destruction. We are constantly growing and changing, and it's necessary for us to gain our metaphoric wings. As I'm writing this I think back to a time in my 20s when I was a builder's labourer. My favourite part of the job was the demolition. Ahh, the destruction was therapeutic: bashing down walls, jack hammering, breaking things, then cleaning and clearing to leave a clean slate, a blank canvas if you will, for the new. I was going through some relationship and self worth issues at the time, but I was a bit young to make the connection of what that physical job was doing for me on a deeper level. I definitely see it now upon reflection. It was a place to channel some very destructive emotions, and it allowed me to get on with things. Now, as someone who works in energy healing and bodywork, belief systems and the stories we tell ourselves are at the forefront of my conversations with clients. It's pretty cool to witness the light bulb moments they have when certain beliefs unfold and get reflected back to them. Awareness is the first step to change. I'm constantly working on and questioning my own belief systems as they arise, so I'm definitely one to walk my talk, and over the years I've had some interesting ones reflected back at me. Let me share a few: feeling like a failure, uneducated, not good enough, very much a self deflating victim mentality really. I've been overly judgemental, an annoying perfectionist, and held very high expectations that led to big let downs. I've walked on eggshells so as not to upset people, been ruled by obligation and guilt, and worried about what people think. Worst of all, I've sucked at communicating my true feelings at times and found myself going along with others rather than having any kind of confrontation, all because of my lack of confidence in articulating them. Anything resonating amongst that for you? It's tough, right? From the work I've done, I see a lot of this as having been handed down from the generations before me, and around me. Just like we're handed down looks and personality traits through our DNA, emotional patterns get handed down too, alongside what's role modelled and taught to us. But this isn't about playing the blame game. This is about taking responsibility for instigating change in my own life, changing the beliefs that don't serve me, which is so very liberating. You may be thinking, how the hell do we do that? The first step is definitely recognition and awareness. That's the key that unlocks the process. Then comes time. Time can be a bitch, because it seems to be something we're all lacking in today's society, but it's crucial. If we want to make some changes, we have to make the time and create the space to reflect, acknowledge, and ponder on the emotions it brings up. Having self compassion through this process is important too. No berating ourselves or being hard on ourselves. It can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions depending on how deep it goes, but once we have a handle on the story, where it came from, and how it potentially influences our lives, we've arrived. Now it's time to think and feel into what aligns for us and how we'd like to do things differently, and start putting those behaviours, responses, and decisions into place. Finally, with our new found awareness and our beautiful story that resonates, we set ourselves up to catch any habitual old behaviour that pops up, and remind ourselves what it is we want to recalibrate as we move toward the new story, the new belief system that aligns so much better with our soul. Any time we do fall back into old habits, remember it's an opportunity to learn and do better next time. This can be daily, conscious, very worthwhile, and sometimes challenging work. It's important to ask for help. We can't do this alone. If this is something you find really tough, start with whatever belief system is creating the difficulty of reaching out for support. Maybe you've tried and been let down, or you'd like to but think it makes you look weak. I wouldn't have be able to get through some of my processes without the amazing therapists I have found, my guides, and my dear friends and family. I'm so very grateful. Grateful, too, for the opportunities that my ingrained belief systems have given me to grow and evolve. Much love xo
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