The Road to Contentment!
When I think of Contentment what comes to my mind is.....
"Being happy with what you have, feeling at home (heart centred), right where you are."
I asked a friend and loved her answer.....
”Its the space between disappointment and expectation.”
My 15 yo daughters response was...... ”Feeling good and complete.”
Our perception can make all the difference in the direction we go towards contentment and ultimately how long we stay. These are the thoughts and questions that contentment has provoked within me…
There are several things that can block our dance with contentment for example the bombardment of the constant stream of information. We receive so many mixed messages on a daily basis, which can come from our social media, family beliefs, learned behaviour and what we read and see. We are led to believe we need fixing, always trying to change how we look or how we are supposed to feel, thinking we need so much stuff to feel complete. However when we don't achieve the results we expected we are left feeling like we have failed in some way.
My suggestion if thats the case for you, is to be willing to create some space. This is where you detach and disconnect from the busyness, stress, over thinking and overwhelm. Its a big ask I know, but just being willing is a great start and then when you are ready to take action, here’s some simple tools to try. Try one or try all to find out what works best for you
Earthing - Getting outside and connecting with the earth is the greatest way to balance the body, mind and spirit. Even if you are doing it already do it with intention. Barefoot on the grass, dirt or sand at least twice a week for 30-60 minutes, if that seems just impossible start where you can and go from there. If you need to distract yourself take a real book to read or a journal to write in.
Journaling - You know those crazy ruminating thoughts that just don’t stop? Get them out by putting pen to paper the old fashioned way. There is something so freeing and healing from writing. We may be worried about what happened today or what we didn’t get done and all the things on the mental lists for tomorrow or next week. We start to forget things and miss appointments. Before you go to bed write out your lists take a minute to prioritise and get a good nights sleep.
Sleep - If you are dreaming you are getting good quality NREM sleep, which is essential for healing and replenishing the body for the day to come. So disconnect from devices at least an hour before you go to bed and get to bed at a reasonable hour.
Meditation - Just 10 minutes a day has amazing benefits. Ten minutes of conscious breathing with eyes closed, feet flat on the ground and a straight spine is a great start. You will not empty your mind especially if you are new to meditation. When the thoughts come, acknowledge them and then let them go, bringing your attention back to the breath in and out. Let go of expectations and judgement. Mind wanders, acknowledge, back to the breath. Easy. Once you get the 10 minutes down, aim for morning and night and then start to work towards 20 minutes.
Healing - Lastly don't be afraid to seek out help from a practitioner of sorts. Energy healing, body work, counselling. Whatever it is that may peak your interest go there, trust, because a helping hand is a powerful way to keep you on track and connected with the wonderful tools you learn along the way.
When space is created there is room to dream, to hope, to receive inspiration, even clarity on the next step. Maybe then we can have a sense of achievement without the pressure of unrealistic expectations from others and ourselves. Imagine how freeing to live your life on your terms, thats when Contentment shows up and you have your template for more of the same.
Ahh the serenity!
The Art of Destruction
Metamorphosis is naturally destructive......This was a Danielle LaPorte truthbomb that kept jumping out of the deck I bought after seeing her speak in Sydney. Its all so timely as right now I'm breaking free of some old belief systems myself. I'm loving the word destructive, its like its taken on a whole new meaning for me in a positive way. While Destructive can be messy, ugly, life altering and so complicated, exhausting even, at the same time its liberating, restorative, and it brings clarity and freedom. I guess it really comes down to perspective, when I look at this word I see the beauty in the difficult emotional work we have to do to get to the other side. Reminds me of one of my old favourite sayings....'even when its bad its good'.
When I read Danielle's truthbomb my first actual thought was the transistion of the caterpillar into the butterfly and the breaking free of the cocoon, an act of destruction. We are constantly growing and changing, its necessary for us to gain our metaphoric wings. As I'm writing this I think back to a time in my 20's when I was a builders labourer, my favourite part of the job was the demolition, ahh the destruction was therapeutic, bashing down walls, jack hammering, breaking things and then cleaning and clearing to leave a clear slate, a blank canvas if you will for the new. I was going through some relationship and self worth issues but I was a bit young to make the connection of what that physical job was doing for me at the time on a deeper level. I definitely see it now upon reflection, it was a place to channel the very destructive emotions, allowing me to get on with things.
Now as an Energy Healer, Belief systems and the stories we tell ourselves are at the forefront of my conversations with clients, its pretty cool to witness the light bulb moments they have when certain beliefs unfold and are reflected upon, awareness is the first step to change.
I'm constantly working on and questioning my own beliefs systems when they arise so I am definitely one to walk my talk and recently I have had some interesting ones reflected back at me. Let me share some.......feeling like a failure, uneducated, not good enough, very much a self deflating victim mentality really. I have been overly judgemental, an annoying perfectionist, and held very high expectations which have led to big let downs. I have walked on egg shells so as not to upset people, been ruled by obligation and guilt, and worried about what people think. Worst of all I have sucked at communicating my true feelings at times and found myself going along with others rather then having any kind of confrontation all because of my lack of confidence in articulation.
Anything resonating amongst that for you? Its tough right? From the work that I've done, I see these having been handed down from my generations passed and present. Just like we are handed down looks and personality traits through our DNA, emotional stuff is also handed down and then there is what is role modelled and taught to us. But its not about playing the blame game this is about taking responsibility for instigating change in my own life, changing the beliefs that do not serve me which is so very liberating.
You may be thinking - How the hell do we do that?
First step is definitely recognition and awareness, its the key to unlock the process.
Then comes time, time can be a bitch because its seems to be something we are all lacking in today's society but its crucial. If we want to make some changes MAKE the time and create the space to reflect, acknowledge and ponder on the emotions it brings up.
Having self compassion through this process is important. No berating and being hard on ourselves. It can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions depending how deep it goes but once we have a handle on the story and where it came from and how it potentially influences our lives, we have arrived.
Now its time to think and feel into what aligns for us and how we would like to do things different and start putting those behaviours, responses and decisions into place.
Finally with our new found awareness and our beautiful story that resonates, we then set ourselves up to catch any habitual old behaviour that pops up and remind ourselves of what it is we want to recalibrate regarding the new story/belief system that aligns so much better with our soul. Anytime we do fall back into old habits remember it is an opportunity to learn and do better next time. This can take daily conscious very worthwhile and sometimes challenging work.
It is important to ask for help. We cannot do this alone, if this is something you find really tough then start on what ever that belief system is that's creating the difficulty of reaching out for support. Maybe you tried and have been let down or you would like to but you think it makes you look weak. I wouldn't have got through my latest process without my helping hands, my guides, my Yoga Teacher, my Naturopath, my dear friends and a very synchronised trip to Sydney where Danielle LaPorte spoke to my soul and I'm so very grateful. I'm grateful for the opportunities that my ingrained belief systems have given me to grow and evolve.
Much love xo
Searching for Balance can feel like searching for the Holy Grail.
Are we spending way to much time and energy trying to constantly find balance in our lives that we are missing the point?
Do we even know how to recognise it or even what to do with it when we are in the moment?
Is it supposed to look like what we see on social media?
When I personally think of Balance, the first image I see in my head is that of a set of old fashioned scales. You know the ones where you use weights to balance them out.
With the belief that those scales should be always balanced in life, it can lead to an incessant nagging of feeling like you are some kind of failure along with:
Its really about how we look at things, we get so caught up in our pre-conceived ideas about certain goals we would like to have in our lives. For instance we decide on what it would take to bring about some balance, set those goals and then stick to them and we should be good. BUT what happens when life takes a different turn and it takes us out of this new balancing routine and then bang we are in the mindset of failure as I mentioned above.
It can look something like this - 'I'm going to get up earlier in the morning do some yoga and a bit of meditation', things are going well then maybe one of the kids wake up earlier, feeling sick or with a wet bed by the time you deal with that there is no time for your new routine. Maybe you wake up feeling unwell or you slept in and are now running late so you have to ditch the new routine and get out the door. The problem that usually happens is once out of this new routine, its hard to get the motivation to come back into it because we are caught up in the 'I failed', 'I can't stick at it', 'its to hard to do every morning'.
So how do we stop this unnecessary rollercoaster?
BALANCE is really about RECOGNISING when life is out of balance (red flags) and having a tool kit and the knowledge of what to do in those moments to bring it back. Its knowing when our beautiful old fashioned set of scales needs the weights adjusted, you may need to add a nap, a day in the kitchen to cook for the freezer so you have back up, a massage or that much needed meditation. When we are doing things to fill our reservoir of energy, we are able to keep pushing through things when life gets in the way, but its knowing when to act before we are burnt out or sick .
This is usually when we need our UNIVERSAL PERMISSION SLIP so if you are struggling say or better still write this down "I give myself permission to.................." fill in the blanks. Some suggestions would sound like this:
Easier said then done you maybe saying BUT setting the intention is a great start. If you feel like its just too hard and you really don't know how to start, then reach out. Having someone to support and teach us the tools to use or even to help unravel why the hell it is so hard can be very rewarding.
Connecting with Self Care can do just that, because when we connect with the act of loving, honouring, accepting, forgiving and caring for ourselves balance is ours.
Much love xo
What are your beliefs about yourself?
Do you think you are beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, capable?
Do you have those moments when something you have done really feels like an achievement and you are just so proud?
OR is it the opposite?
Is your self talk negative and berating?
You can't accept compliments and worse of all you keep COMPARING your self to everyone out there constantly.
Why can't I have what they have? be like them? do what they do? and the list goes on.
Comparison is a bitch and really lowers your energy.
Comparison is very common amongst us humans, its connected to jealousy and envy, resistance and lack of confidence.
How do we stop this Comparison caper?
First step - Acknowledge you are doing it. Recognise it!
Second Step - Take a step back from Social Media!
Social Media has magnified this Comparison caper. I know right? Here we are sitting in front of computers and devices, getting a birds eye view of the best of peoples lives, businesses and relationships, getting caught in the..........'They have such perfect lives. What am I doing wrong? How do they do it? How do they get it? I must suck at this right? I'm hopeless!'
No way! its unrealistic to compare yourself to posts, photos and comments that are from just one aspect of a persons life. We are always going to lead with our best foot forward in the public eye. We don't just walk up to people and empty the bucket of our personal business right there and then. It takes time and trust and rapport to share our vulnerable stuff. Social Media sucks me in to the Comparison caper but I slap myself out it and remember to get a reality check by taking a break and get back to real life and real relationships. This can be tricky especially when running a business and having to be on social media but you know its still ok to step away, just like you would from the office, when the day is done and the doors are closed.
Third step - Make time to sit in a quite space and ask yourself these questions, writing the answers down as you go
Whats a Trigger Point you ask? It can be an old belief system in place, sitting in our subconscious going around and around, ready to pounce when the pain button is pushed.
An example might look like this..... in your childhood someone may have always said
'why can't you be more like ........' which can instill a belief that we aren't good enough just the way we are
OR 'yeah thats ok but it would be better if.........' which can instill a belief of what we are doing is not good enough, that even if we try we just don't cut it
OR they may have lead out of fear with their comments, coming from their own beliefs which can drag you down, just know this is not always intentional.
It really comes down to the language those wonderful well meaning people used, if it was our parents they may have been trying to motivate us to try a bit harder, or they wanted better for us than they had or got. Maybe someone saw something in us that we didn't know we had and decided we needed a push.
Communication is key here thats why when we ask ourselves the above questions, it gives us an opportunity to see where the trigger point lies, taking us back to some memories of situations and now as an adult we can communicate to ourselves a new story, changing that belief system to set us free and see ourselves in a more positive way.
How do we do that?
SELF CARE is key!
We will still admire, honour, respect and love what others are doing, and we are able to draw inspiration from others, isn't that what happens in the world.
There is enough to go around for everyone. We live in an abundance universe if we have the ability to tap in, we are able to draw from it anytime.
Lets not get stuck in the 'well they are already doing it, if I do it now it will seem I'm copying'
OR 'They have the market on that one' etc etc.
NO no no, how many people talk about self care, gratitude, healing, health coaching? LOADS but it is not going to stop me from standing in my truth, being my authentic self and offering my services, support and love to those who resonate with me.
Have I had self doubt, and negative self talk around comparison?
You bet ya I have and it has caused resistance, many stand stills and dread to name a few. Do I get stuck in not be able to live up to the next person and think what now? Yep, but with walking my talk and following the above steps I have pushed through and learnt what's needed in the moment and will continue to learn so much about myself and what I am capable of.
Comparison may always pop in but when we can recognise it for what it really is, we then have a choice to work through and unravel the emotion, pain or old stories attached. Lets change the perception around comparison from the dread it makes us feel, to accepting that massive change is about to occur and although it may even be a painful process, exciting things come when we are on the other side.
Remember this - Your life is perfect in all its imperfection!
Much love xo
"Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. Its a repelling force. Its negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work."
Steven Pressfield - The War of Art
My beautiful friend in America sent me a very cool present for my birthday and in that parcel was Steven Pressfield's book, The War of Art. That book had been on my radar for so long and here it was in my hot little hands, just in the nick of time.
Not only has resistance been hanging around like a bad smell of late, it has been thwarting me my whole life. I have just started this book but it feels like, as the foreword writer said, it was written just for me. I have always been aware of resistance, more and more as I grow in sensitivity to energy. I have learnt to recognise it, feel into it, question it and it can be bloody exhausting, can you relate? Don't get me wrong I have pushed through my fair share, but it has taken me down and held me back as well.
Resistance is a force, a force to be reckoned with and now with a new understanding, as he (Steven - my new best friend), has broken it down in a way thats made me recognise, ALL the different directions that force comes from. Thankfully it just makes me more determined to continue working on kicking its arse, well today anyway.
Resistance comes up with any change, our move interstate, a new school for my girls, making new friends, finding a place to work from, getting myself out there in this new environment to connect with clients, resistance has been challenging me intensely. Not only do I have to push through my own, but I have to encourage and sometimes force my girls to push through theirs and hold space when my husband is dealing with his.
How do you recognise resistance?
Its everywhere, in our boredom, our distractions, our vices, our self pity, our self talk, blaming others, our fear of what other people think, the list goes on.
How do we fight it? Good Question!
Personally I feel first and foremost we just have to be aware of it. My husband reminded me of the saying 'What we resist, persists' I say it a lot to my clients when they are on my table for healing. As I guide them into relaxing, a lot of thoughts can come up in that quiet space, my advice is to acknowledge them and let them go gently, if we keep resisting them they just persist for attention and its harder to relax and embrace your precious time. Resistance is not going away any time soon, its here for a reason and we need awareness, we need to feel why and how resistance has come bounding in to sweep us off our feet.
So heres some of the things I suggest -
While all and any of the above have helped me through many points of resistance in my life, I'm looking forward to reading on for further guidance.
I'm onto you resistance, my passion is connecting people with Self Care and their innate ability to heal themselves, its my purpose and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to use you as a driving force, I'll fight or surrender.
I guess thats why Steven called it 'The War of Art!'
Your turn, I would love to hear from you, Whats your thoughts on Resistance? Share your experiences below to inspire each other.
Much love xo
I am loving connecting with my community, we are so blessed to have amazing people surrounding us, some right on our doorstep and others just a click away. Technology can bring us closer together, no matter the distance that separates us working with others online is a great opportunity for growth. I am hoping this segment will introduce you to someone that maybe just what you need in this moment.
This time round, I would love to introduce Margaret Lambert. Marg is a Psychologist and award winning Author, Speaker and EFT Trainer (Emotional Freedom Technique). Margaret has trained in Australia and in the USA with founder of EFT, Gary Craig and well know Dr Joseph Mercola. Margaret writes in the area of holistic health and wellbeing and 'Finding the voice within".
I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts so please share in the comments below.
Heres all of Margarets links, take your pick how you would best like to connect.
Periscope and Blab: Live Streaming
It all started with an amazing 30 day Low Tox Living E-course by Alexx Stuart. As that came to an end, I was introduced to the movement of Plastic Free July and I did take the challenge. The past two months I have been flooded with just enough information that motivated me to change habits and refine ones I already had in place. Alexx's course covered everything from cleaning products, what you put on your body, to whats in your environment, how its all effecting us and so much more. It wasn't as overwhelming as it may sound as Alexx was smart enough to have a support group, where she and all the other members could lend a hand. She also gave you a day off every week and a day where it was about mindset, meditation and breathing so we could get through any anxiety that came up and believe me some of that stuff came up. Its scary whats allowed to be put in products especially when they are aimed at our kids.
Plastic Free July started four years ago in WA with about 40 members but have some 25000 members now. There aim is to bring about awareness around single use plastic. You can sign up for a day, a week or the whole month, refusing ALL single-use plastic or try the TOP 4: plastic bags, water bottles, takeaway coffee cups and straws. I signed up for the month and for the TOP 4. There were awesome emails along the way with great tips, connections to blogs and links to documentaries and reading material. All for you to explore in your own time.
So how did I go? Pretty bloody good, here are the things that I changed with the help of Alexx Stuart and Plastic Free July.
Phew! Its still a work in progress, making the changes where you can and working towards the bigger changes as I am able to. Small steps, using up what I have and replacing as it I need to with a lower tox or organic item. I am pretty lucky as I rarely do take away, if we eat out its usually at a favourite cafe and I don't do coffee anymore, so no more takeaway cups. Remembering my own bags to grocery shop was a bit hit and miss, but after juggling groceries to the car in my arms it sunk in pretty quickly to remember my bags. They do make you pay for the reusable plastic bags here in Darwin but still its plastic and we already have heaps so getting through those and taking more sustainable bags.
After watching the documentary Plastic Paradise and Plastic Oceans, well that just made me look at plastic in a whole new way. Lets just say I'm glad I haven't had seafood for about two years now. They are definitely worth watching, two of my kids watched it to, such an eye opener for them. Im trying to think about ways to not have to have any plastic but its so bloody hard, when even good low tox products still come in some form of plastic, or bulk products are still in plastic. What really does my head in, is if you buy organic produce at woolies. Everything and I mean every bit of organic produce in that section is placed on a styrofoam tray and wrapped in glad wrap. The unnecessary packaging of things is mind boggling.
I feel having invested in Alexx's e-course and signing up for Plastic Free July made me really accountable. It inspired me to try harder, the more people say no to unnecessary packaging, the more companies will have to come up with eco friendly ways of packaging their products. I am guilty at slacking off due to prices and availability, and of course good old convenience, but having an understanding of how chemicals and plastics effect our health and the health of our planet has me inspired to always look for the best option. Please don't think you can't make a difference, because you can. When you say no to straws or buy that cool reusable glass takeaway coffee cup or even take your own bags when shopping, it counts in a big way. Please share below your great tips/stories on going Low Tox or Plastic Free!
I would like to introduce you to Omanisa Ross, who joins me on "5 Questions with...." Omanisa has been working as a psychic healer and counsellor who specialises in reading and healing the aura, and has done for almost 20 years. Omanisa's insights regarding love, life and the universe from just a handful of random questions are just invaluable. I hope you enjoy the interview. I would love to hear your feedback so please leave your comments below.
To work with Omanisa she can be contacted on the links below:
Naturopathic site: http://selfcare4.me
Wildflower site: http://flowerspirits.net
Today I am launching a little segment, 5 Questions with.......I hope you enjoy watching the video!
I love meeting people and listening to their stories, I love how a conversation can be so healing, teaching us so much, connection and community is important. This segment is about introducing people from my community and also from around the country and hopefully around the world as these connections can be anywhere with the technology we have at our fingertips. I hope to bring people together and may we touch each others hearts with our knowledge and what we have to offer.
Today allow me to introduce Bronwyn Clee and after watching our conversation if you would like to know more about Bronwyn and the work she does far and wide helping so many people as she follows her passions, please find all her links below.
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bronwynclee or use email: firstname.lastname@example.org
I was having a conversation about GMO's with my husband, sharing some of the information that I have learnt through my IIN Health Coaching Course whose statistics and information are based in America. My husband's reply was "Lucky that doesn't happen here in Australia", I laughed and he looked at me with surprise. He seriously had no idea that there are GMO crops growing in Australia, and nearly didn't believe me when I told him he was wrong, so off to Google I went to show him.