How often in your life have you allowed regret to get in the way, the 'if only's', the 'should haves', for me I have dwelled in that place many times, but thankfully not for long. I was reminded of a moment today after watching the movie Wild starring Reese Witherspoon. I loved it, a front row seat into someone else's life, I'm a big fan of movies based on true stories. Reece played a woman named Cheryl who went on a downward spiral after her mother passed away and ended up hiking a thousand miles to gain some perspective after she hit rock bottom. This movie was timely, this particular past week I feel I have shed another layer of grief for my Mum passing, which happened 5 years ago, something you never get over but I thought would get easier, it does and it doesn't, being allowed to share in another story of grief helps, I guess it helps you gain a little perspective. I miss my Mum so so much but I know I'm not alone, she fills my heart with love sending me signs to remind me she sees me and for that I am so grateful.
So back to the regret I mentioned, watching Cheryl in the movie walk a thousand miles alone, brought up a slight regret that I didn't continue my travels in my 20's, sitting in my regret for a moment I admitted to myself, that on some level I thought maybe I sabotaged myself because of fear, fear of being a young woman alone on the road, it still makes me feel vulnerable, thinking about it. Then I thought about what it was that changed those plans so quickly. I wasn't really wanting to travel alone, I loved the idea of it, me and the open road and I loved travelling, but I was trying to prove myself to my family, that I could do anything, that I wasn't scared, that I wasn't just an annoying little girl, I was somebody. Mind you all this need to prove myself was all in my own head, it took a while, but that driving force has gone now. That moment of slight regret turned into reflection, how do you regret life that changes you in ways that supports the evolvement of your soul, the husband that has taught me to be the strong woman I am today, that same man who brought me to my knees and also raised me up like the White Bellied Sea Eagle soaring so high, how do you regret the three beautiful children that you bring into the world, who teach you the deepest most unconditional love you could ever experience and the amazing angels that walk into your life from all directions that bring so much with them.
So as much as I kind of wish I had the guts to make that particular trip 20 years ago, I can reflect over the many things in my life that have brought me other experiences I needed more. Thank you for visiting me Regret you are a welcomed friend who helps me see how far I have come, what I have and how much love I have to give and how that is reflected back to me.
Any regrets? Ready to set them free?
Much love xo